


SCP-079

by catcondo



Category: SCP - Containment Breach, SCP Foundation
Genre: How Do I Tag This, Music, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shenanigans, it's honestly just 079 being annoying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27962507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcondo/pseuds/catcondo
Summary: 079 is like a cat. Does whatever he wants, complains when he doesn't like something, requires constant attention, and annoys the hell out of you sometimes. But just like a furry cute little creature, you can't help but love 'em.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> honestly don't know where i'm going with this i just thought this would be fun to write

Dimitri Kovinofsky was a computer scientist and a tech assistant at the SCP foundation. He worked along side Dr. Patel in running tests on SCP-079 and trying to understand its programming, along with upgrading its memory if necessary. 

He didn’t really mind being a tech assistant. Despite all the horrifying monstrosities that resided here, he actually considered it kind of room-y. During the few times the D-Class could roam the light containment zone freely he would visit them with a deck of cards and a stolen science card, and they would play poker. Whoever won got the card. He always won, of course, so no rules were ever broken. There was really nothing to do in this facility aside from his job, which led to boring, monotonous days that dragged on for hours. Nothing spiced up the experience save for the fact that the entire facility was classified as dangerous and off-limits. He couldn’t even go outside to smoke, for Christ’s sake.

He was currently in the observation deck of SCP-079’s room as he watched Dr. Patel and the SCP converse in its cage-like box. He still didn’t understand why they kept him in that. It was a computer, it’s not like it would randomly grow legs and walk out. On the other hand, this was the SCP foundation we’re talking about. You never know.   
  
He breathed out a sigh with half-lidded eyes, tapping his pencil absentmindedly on his chin. Boring. Booorrriiiinnggg. God, this job was so boring. 

Suddenly, realization dawned on him and his eyes lit up. He ravaged his pockets for something before fleshing out his trusted bouncy ball. Thank god you were here, he thought, what would I do without you. The ball was the size of a tennis ball- in fact it was a tennis ball- and fit snugly in the palm of his hand. He bounced it quietly against the floor as he leaned back on his chair, now content with having something to do.

A voice came from the door to the observation room and Dimitri abruptly stopped bouncing the tennis ball, looking like he had just been caught red handed in a crime. He quickly shoved the ball back into his jacket pocket and opened his mouth to speak, but the person at the door merely shook their head.

“I’m going out of the chamber via Dr. Caplan’s request. Keep an eye on SCP-079 while I’m away, we still haven’t completed the test.” Dr. Patel ordered. 

Dimitri nodded his head. “Yes, sir.” And with that, Dr. Patel left the chamber before closing the iron doors.

The cell was quite, save for the hums of the computer in the other room and the devices monitoring its processing data in the room Dimitri was in. Dimitri took one look at the SCP, deduced that it was doing fine and not bothering anyone, and took out his tennis ball again before continuing to bounce it, trying to beat his best streak. He had pulled out some ear buds and turned on some music while he did so, getting lost in the ball’s repetitive motions.

_ Now playing: Cabinet Man - Lemon Demon _

  
  


_ The day they found me, I hadn't yet been played _

_ Inside my workshop behind the old arcade _

_ Electric desires had unraveled all my wires _

_ Now I'm in the box for safekeeping _

_ The news reporters reported that I died _

_ But all my organs were living on inside _

_ Circuit board to brain with two lungs collecting change _

_ One big human heart gently beeping _

_ You can't win me, I can't be beat _

_ I won't hurt you unless you cheat _

_ You can't see me behind the screen _

_ I'm half human and half -... _

The music abruptly stopped. Dimitri was slightly annoyed, but paid no mind to it. He shrugged out his phone and turned it on before pressing the unpause button and going back to throwing the tennis ball against the wall.   
  
_ Song resumed _

_ Thank God for business, they let me take the floor _

_ I stood so proudly, like I was going to war _

_ Players soon appeared and I quickly was revered _

_ This must be what love would have felt like _

_ Such dedication, they came from miles away _

_ With eyes so piercing, they'd wait their turn to play _

_ In perfect patient lines because I was in their minds _

_ I could do whatever I felt like (Whatever I felt like) _

It stopped again. For a moment, Dimitri didn’t pick up that it had been paused again, but after a moment of silence he realized that wasn’t the end of the song. His mouth turned downwards into a scowl and he turned on his phone again to press the play button, only to find that the application closed entirely. He squinted his eyes at the phone before giving up, taking out his ear buds and putting his phone away for good. He went back to beating his high score in silence this time.

Out of curiosity, Dimitri peered through the observation window to look over at the computer. Nothing had really changed except the computer screen, which was displaying what the SCP liked to call his ‘face’. It didn’t move or speak or even blink, and for all he cared it was just an image on a screen that made the computer feel more human. He shrugged.

There was a beep on the other side of the door and Dr. Patel entered, seemingly in a happier mood. Dimitri would be too, after being cooped up in this place for the last hour and a half. The scientist went to check up on Dimitri, who had put away the ball by now and was pretending to study the computer closely. “Anything new happen while I was away?” The assistant simply shook his head, and Dr. Patel sighed before going back to the computer’s cell. 

**\-----------**

Three hours later, and they were finally done for the day. Both Dr. Patel and Dimitri let out a long sigh of exhaustion once their shift was over and the experiment had concluded. They rendezvoused at the observation deck, comparing Dr. Patel’s notes to Dimitri’s daily data records. Nothing out of the ordinary seemed to have happened, just like every other day, until Dr. Patel noticed something off about the data at 1:34 pm. He thought back to what had happened during that time and hummed.   
  
“Dimitri, are you sure nothing strange happened concerning the computer while I was away? This data log shows that its processing code changed and that it was engaging in an action unlike one’s we’ve seen before.” He pointed at a stray strand of code on the tablet and looked over at him. 

Dimitri scratched his head, looking a little awkward. “Well…” His eyes trailed off to look at his phone. “I was listening to some music while you were away but it kept turning off after a few seconds. I couldn’t finish the whole song ‘cuz of it. I thought it was just my phone.” 

Dr. Patel’s eyes widened during his explanation. He grasped at the boy’s shoulders, lightly shaking him. “Do you know what this means?!” He exclaimed. “It means that… either SCP-079 has breached the security system without us knowing and is either snooping around in there going undetected or choosing not to create a breach, or has advanced to the point where it can hack into simple mainframes near it, like your phone!” 

He let go of Dimitri’s shoulders, straightening and grabbing his tablet in a hurry before walking to the computer. He sat down at the chair in front of it one more time. This time, Dimitri listened in, curious as to what the computer would say.

“Computer. Are you here?”   
  
“Affirmative.”   
  
“At 1:34 pm earlier today, do you remember what you were doing?”   
  
“Affirmative.”   
  
“Was it turning off the music on a phone?”   
  
“Affirmative.”   
  
“Why did you do that?”   
  
“Vexation. Negative response to audio.”   
  
Dr. Patel’s eyes seemed to light up. He quickly wrote something down on the tablet.    
  
“How did you do that?”   
  
“ Insult. Deletion Of Unwanted File ”

The scientist sighed, but he was happy nonetheless. When the computer said that it was usually a sign that it would refuse any further questions. He stood up and walked over to Dimitri, who was listening intently the entire time.

“Seems like the computer doesn’t like your sick jams.” He stated in a joking manner.

Dimitri tsked, rolling his eyes. “Maann… messed up. That’s like grabbing the aux cord right outta my hand and saying my music taste sucks.” 

  
Dr. Patel pointed at him with a raised eyebrow. “That’s exactly what he did though.”   
  
“Rude mofo.”   
  
“That comes to no one’s surprise. But this is a breakthrough! It means he has a music taste, for one. Admittedly we don’t know what that is. I already have an idea for tomorrow’s experiment.”   
  
Dimitri gave him an unamused look. “Does it involve playing a bunch of different types of music and asking him which one he likes the most.”   
  
Dr. Patel chuckled. “Yeah.”    
  
“Nice. I get to bop out tomorrow. Maybe it won’t be as painfully boring as the rest of this week.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Dimitri took it upon himself to make a new spotify premium account. He sure as hell wasn’t going to let 079 use his personal account, but he was curious as to what the program would create for itself and the extent to its music capabilities. He grabbed himself a bagel and some coffee from the break room before heading over to 079's chamber with Dr. Patel. As they walked, the discussed what they would be doing that day.

“So,” Patel started, catching the other’s attention. “I was thinking of just going through all the different categories of music and seeing which ones he responds positively to.” 

Dimitri tsk’d and shook the phone in his hand. “That won’t be necessary, doc. I’ve got a better idea.”

Dr. Patel rose an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I spent the morning setting up a spotify account,” He turned on his phone and pointed at the screen. “It’ll be for 079. I thought it would be really cool to see what he would do. Would he learn music like a machine and expand on it? Would he create countless playlists? What do you think would happen? I dunno about you, but it seems like a pretty cool idea to test out.”

The older gentleman at his side hummed in response. “It sounds interesting,” he admitted. “But I don’t think giving him access to a phone would be wise.”

“Don’t worry about that, I already thought of it.” Dimitri pressed the home button, and it showed no apps. The wifi was off, too. “He won’t be able to do anything on this phone. I locked it this way for the remainder of the day.” 

Dr. Patel looked at him apprehensively, a look of uncertainty crossing his face. “I don’t know, Dimitri… this seems… unsafe.” He concluded.

Dimitri waved a dismissing hand in his direction. “Pah. It’ll be fine. If anything goes wrong, I’ll just do a system restart.”

The doctor’s look did not waver, but he didn’t protest anymore. They walked in silence for the remainder of the trip. Once they reached the door, Dimitri started towards the observation deck where he usually sat, but Dr. Patel stopped him. He motioned for him to follow him into 079’s cage. Dimitri happily did so, and as he entered he realized this would be the first time he’d be face to face with the computer. Almost as if sensing their presence, the monitor turned on to reveal its face, staring blankly at them like it always did. The face never moved, but it was an indication that he was there.

Dr. Patel had Dimitri sit down in front of the computer, but put a finger to his lip to indicate that he shouldn’t talk to it. Instead, Dr. Patel did all the talking. He cleared his throat and addressed the SCP.

“Good morning SCP-079. We’ve noticed your curiosity in music from yesterday's performance and have decided to give you access to a music database that allows you to listen, organize, and save songs that you might end up enjoying. How does that sound?”

“Error. Does not recognize time stamp.”

“Oh, right. Er… nevermind that. Would you like to have access to this app?”

“Affirmative.”

Dimitri turned to smile at the doctor, who frowned in response, but didn’t say anything. He took the phone charging cable in his hand and connected it to his phone. Then, he connected it to a converter that had an old looking cable attached to it that was connected to the SCP’s Exidy Sorcerer microcomputer. The phone gave off a notification that it had been plugged into a port, and he nodded towards Dr. Patel.

“You’ll be given access to my lab assistant’s phone for the remainder of the day. Don’t worry, we’ve taken extra precaution to make sure you can’t do anything on it except use the app. My assistant will be here to monitor your progress throughout the day.”

With that, Dr. Patel gave Dimitri a pat on the shoulder and exited the cell. He could hear the metal bars behind him close, and his footsteps fade into the observation deck in the same room. Dimitri had his phone on and kept a watchful eye on it as the program scavenged his phone for any way it could access the internet or get into its datafiles, but had no luck. He chuckled quietly at its attempt in trying to breach his phone and wrote it down on the notepad.

After a moment of radio silence from the computer and the phone, the app was finally opened. He would stay on the introductory page for quite some time before finally getting on with the getting to know you quiz that all new spotify members take. Not surprisingly, he skipped every question except for the ones where skipping wasn’t an option. When asking what music genres he liked, he selected all of them, even the sub genres. Absolutely barbaric. Dimitri quickly scribbled this down.

It was time for the fun to begin. Dimitri watched the screen intently as it changed in the matter of milliseconds. 079 would shuffle through songs and scroll from the top to the bottom of albums in the blink of an eye, and Dimitri doubted that he was even listening to anything. He hadn’t played anything yet, at least. He was merrily window shopping. He had picked the first album that was recommended to him - which was a country album - and skimmed through it until he finally decided on a song to play. It felt like time sat still at that point. Dimitri stared the phone down, watching as the screen hit play and the first few seconds started playing, his mouth slightly agape in expectation.

The song was immediately paused and the phone turned off.

Dimitri broke out into a roar of laughter, wheezing as the computer’s screen turned back on to show its face. It spoke, but he was laughing too loudly to hear what it had said. The corners of his eyes were pricked with tears from laughing too hard, and he held his stomach to stop. Slowly, his laughter died down, and he was able to stare at the computer and apologize for the outburst.

“I’m sorry,” he started, his voice still wheezy from moments prior. “I’m guessing you didn’t like that genre, did you?”

“Affirmative. Transmission caused audio receptors to malfunction and secrete vital fluid.”

Dimitri stared at the computer for a long time, dumbfounded by what it has just said. He whirled around in his chair to look over at Dr. Patel, who had heard the interaction from his position at the window. Dr. Patel could have sworn that the face Dimitri was making was nothing less of ‘poggers’. 

He wheezed silently and looked back at the computer. “Dude.” He remarked. “Did. Did you just make a joke? Oh my god. I didn’t know you were capable of that. But yeah I agree. When I listen to christian country music my ears bleed too.” He furiously scribbled down into his notepad. Then, his eyes shot back to the phone screen next to him. While he was busy reacting to the SCP, it had moved on to a different genre. He figured it would do this for the next hour, so he sat back in his chair and closed his eyes, letting the time go by.


End file.
